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Posts Tagged ‘joke’

This is laugh-out-loud hilarious… Couldn’t help but re-post it!!

39 Test Answers That Are 100% Wrong But Totally Genius At The Same Time | Distractify.

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I love this ad… 🙂

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I love it. 🙂

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This is really cute and actually pretty close to the truth (well, except Santa’s House 🙂 we all know he lives in the North Pole). Got a good chuckle out of it 🙂

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The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

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Funny moment at the dry cleaners last weekend.

My husband brought a batch of pants and a few shirts to our usual dry cleaners.  It’s a family shop owned and operated by a sweet middle-aged asian couple. My husband was taken aback when the lady was sorting through the clothes and asked “old man’s pants”? After a few moments of confusion (and surprise), he finally understood that the lady was asking him if they were ALL man’s pants, not OLD man’s pants.

Hehehehe

I nearly died of laughter when he told me.

And of course, I called him “old man” for a few days afterwards. 🙂 Gotta get those jibes in when I can.

(not my husband)

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Mmmm Pie!

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